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Use this car configure thing to create the most heinous car possible

Discussion in 'Creative' started by Tavshed Fjols, Dec 26, 2013.

  1. Tavshed Fjols

    Tavshed Fjols Official Biggest Guy

    So I found this car configurator thing that lets you paint all sorts of cars different colors, put on new body panels, and other things like that. Naturally the point of this site became clear to me, how terrible of a car can I make?


    This one is a late 70s Russian GAZ Chaika Limousine, which is actually a car I like, its a sort of evil looking brick that looks like murder. My creation is an example why the proletariat should never get there hands on a car, and should instead be forced into a life of farming and mining siberian salt.

    This next one is inspired by several cars I have seen before, with all the worst parts put together to create the ultimate "Bro, ist best!" Russian drug dealer car.

    This streetglow equipped, useless spoiler possessing, shitbox is a "JDM YO!" car. The whole "JDM YO!" thing is where people in the US attempt to make their car look like the version sold in Japan (owing to US safety regulations, external body panels and lights are often different). These cars are often built by high schoolers with little to no money, this explains why the drivers of these cars see spray paint as an acceptable replacement for an actual paint job ("Who has money for that bro? I mean seriously bro, why should I spend $500 at the macco the get my car painted [obscure JDM paint color] when I can do it in my garage for $20 with some paint from autozone?")

    This is what I imagine the Russian equivalent of a US "JDM BRO" car is, a terrible low budget car consisting mainly of shoddily installed high intensity discharge headlights, dirt cheap (and dangerous) rims, spray paint in place of actual time and effort, and poorly designed flimsy plastic "aero" additions that tend to actually add drag and lift (You don't want these, kids) and generally make for a terrifying ride at high speeds.
    (The car is some horrid Lada hatchback from the early 2000s, made of the same plastic as old happy meals toys and little tike play kitchens from the 1980s)

    And finally I was bored so I made a good car. When people build a car its very easy to end up with an odious mutant, whats important is to never do anything to the car changes the general feel of it (Or, rather ATTEMPTS to change this) or is outside the realm of what the original designer(s) had in mind when creating the car. So NEVER try to make a car seem like something it isn't (Honda civic to initial d drift machine by adding a spoiler that actually diminishes the handling qualities, bloated pickup truck to off road bruiser by lifting it 1.5 feet and adding monster tires that don't actually do anything other than look manly) and generally try to make the mods looking like it could have actually came to the factory like that.

    And YES, I did spend a whole hour on this because I was bored at 4 in the morning!

    Last edited: Dec 26, 2013
    WaddleJrJr likes this.
  2. WaddleJrJr

    WaddleJrJr Administrator Staff Member

    I don't know, as hard as I try I think the people selling custom cars on Craigslist will always have me beat as far as hideousness goes.
  3. Dr Painsaw

    Dr Painsaw Master Surgeon and Part Time Admin Staff Member

    I call it "Serbia Strong"
    It's a modded Yugo that runs on the blood of Kebabaloids, preferably Bosniks and Turks
    Tavshed Fjols and WaddleJrJr like this.

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